What You Mean, "They", White Man?

"They've been at war over there for hundreds of years". You hear that often enough, as an excuse for not taking a position on the present condition of the Middle East. Sometimes it's even "thousands of years".

Now it's certainly true that since its founding, Israel has seen five wars and sixty years of intermittent terrorism, and that before that Jewish immigrants to Palestine suffered (and engaged in) further decades of violence. And of course it's true that the modern borders of the Middle East were drawn in the aftermath of a vast and terrible war that had seen the destruction of the Ottoman Empire, in ways that seem almost calculated to cause further wars.

But is it really fair to describe the Middle East as some sort of cesspool of perpetual warfare? Has the region been at war for more years out of the past hundred, or five hundred, or five thousand, than, say, Germany, or Central America? I don't think history shows any such thing, and I think that to say so is simply to counsel despair.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "What is said a thousand times may still be false."\\

Support the Troops, Please, Mr. President

Mr. Bush, don't veto the military funding bill. Don't cut off our troops.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Actions have consequences."\\

Terrorists struck on American soil today, but the news media don't care much.

The terrorists were the wrong religion.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Do the right thing."\\

Banana Guard

Kathe sent me this.

The black dog of depression has been trying to walk between my feet lately, so I really needed to see something this funny.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I HAVE A BANANA GUARD IN MY EAR!"\\

Summer Begins on April 28th

Impeachment Summer, that is.

Impeachment is off the table and rolling all over the floor, and starting to climb the walls.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Forecast calls for bright, clear weather."\\

Impeach Them, Already

Plain and simple: this is the worst administration in the nation's history, a disgrace upon a great nation.

It's time to start cleaning up the mess, starting with the removal of the President, the Vice President and all their various roots and branches.

I don't agree that it's time for revolution. It's merely time for congress to carry out the function it was designed to perform under conditions like these.

Investigate. Impeach. Convict.

//The magic eight-Ball says, "Do what is called for. Not an atom more nor a particle less."\\

Global Climate: I'll Save You the Trouble

There is no need for you to read anything about global climate change from inhabitants of the Conservaverse. Here is a summary of their writings over the next thirty years:

1) It's all a hoax. The climate isn't changing.

2) The climate is changing, but...
2a) The changes are all beneficial.
2b) It's caused by natural cycles or ocean currents or sunspots or something (anything) other than human activity.

3) The climate is changing, and it's a greater disaster than anything within human history, but...
3a) There's nothing we can do about it.
3b) Doing something about it would cost too much.
3c) Let the hungry people of the Third World sacrifice before comfortable Americans have to.

4) The climate is changing disastrously, and we could have greatly reduced the damage if we'd acted promptly and with a reasonable caution, but...
4a) It's too late to do anything about it now, so let's just party until the end.
4b) Someone else should have taken the initiative, not the wealthiest and most advanced nation on Earth, not the nation that puffed itself up as a shining city on a hill with a mission from God to reform the world.
4c) We were all for doing something about it, we could have prevented all of this, if those pesky Democrats hadn't gotten in our way.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You already know how I feel".\\

A DIme's Worth of Difference

In 1971, Oregon became the first state to require a five cent deposit on all carbonated drink cans and bottles. The transformation of landfill use and roadside litter was an example for the nation.

Today, the deposit is still just a nickel, and people are drinking a whole lot of bottled water, bottled tea and non-carbonated energy drinks. Updating the law shouldn't be difficult, should it?

Except that the retailers of bottled drinks are fighting it with every dirty trick they've managed to figure out since they failed to stop the original bottle bill, and failed to stop it in a dozen other states.

If you're an Oregon resident, let the Legislature know that you're not buying the retailers' humbug campaign against the renewal of the Bottle Bill.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Yes*"\\
*Note: This answer has been used 47 times before.

Congress Can Still Act In Support of Our Troops

Don't let anybody tell you there's nothing Congress can do to respond to George W. Bush's act of contempt in vetoing the troops' bill.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "By 'support', I take it you mean 'Treat them like human beings instead of expendable video game characters'."\\

How Many Wolves

Until recently, there was a question as to how many of Idaho's wolves might be killed if their endangered status were revoked by Bush appointees at the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service.

Now we know for sure, because Idaho Governor C.L. Otter (or "Butch" as he would like to be known for poll-taking purposes) says he would organize the extermination of wolves down to the last fifty pairs.

If that doesn't square with your idea of wildlife protection, you might want to say so now.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "What is it with you people, anyway?"\\

Remember That Medicare Drug Benefit Thingy?

It's still a mess.

Just thought I'd mention that.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "You might want to mention it to someone, too."\\

Targeting Unethical Pharmacists

Wal-Mart has decided to require its pharmacists to behave ethically, even when filling prescriptions brought in by -ugh- women.

It would be good if Target did the same.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "This is a subject close to me, since I look so much like a pill."\\

I Changed My Mind

The President is highly competent and performing heroic service to the nation, and furthermore, he really was elected honestly. Both times.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "April Fool."\\